Cheese suits every pocket and is almost designed for stealing
|Published
Cheese continues to appeal as both a standalone snack and as an added ingredient. Picture: Pexels (Engin Akyurt)
As a regular columnist, I spend a lot of time searching for subjects that might interest Cape Argus readers. I try to avoid subjects that are related to coronavirus or corruption.
These are depressing topics and the biggest difference between them is that there’s no vaccine yet for corruption.
By now, I think most readers are heartily sick of both and I’d really like to offer you something to make you smile for a change. So, just say “cheese.” And while we’re on the subject, I read an odd little factoid about cheese recently.
Apparently, cheese has the dubious distinction of being the most stolen food in the world. According to my information, 4% of all cheese in retail stores is stolen annually. At first, I scoffed at the idea. Who on earth steals cheese?
Then, as I thought more deeply about it, I realised cheese was almost designed for stealing. If you’re a hungry person with empty pockets, the local supermarket must be a tempting place. Payment is not an option because of the pocket situation, so it’s stealing or starving.
A juicy fillet steak might be tempting, but once you’ve slipped it into your pocket, it tends to become clammy and leak down your leg. Also, you need a source of heat to cook it once you get it home (if you have a home), and that might present a problem.
A bag of maize-meal might be a nutritious option, but you need a rather big pocket for that and it also requires cooking. Bread is ready to eat but too bulky to sip into a pocket. Chocolate bars are useful, but don’t last long (besides, they’re usually displayed right under the watchful eyes of the tellers).
Then there’s cheese. Some customers eat cheese at every meal and in almost every dish, others may limit their cheese eating to a little sliver with their evening drink.
When shopkeepers display cheeses for sale, they make sure the chunks are varied in size, and each chunk is hygienically sealed to protect the pockets of even the most fastidious cheese thief.
So cheese is the food to suit every pocket. Quite literally.
Last Laugh
During his sermon the vicar mentioned a little known biblical tribe called the Samsonites.
“They wandered in the Wilderness for many years,” he said.
“They had no food or water, but they did have rather nice luggage.”
* "Tavern of the Seas" is a daily column written in the Cape Argus by David Biggs. Biggs can be contacted at [email protected]
** The views expressed here are not necessarily those of Independent Media.
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