Idris who? KZN man says he is the next James Bond
Howick resident, John Gardener and his four-legged partner Roxy the Foxy Howick resident, John Gardener and his four-legged partner Roxy the Foxy
Durban - So, according to word on the street London born hottie, Idris Elba could be the next James Bond. But a certain KwaZulu-Natal golden oldie believes he could give the suave actor a run for his money.
Meet John Gardener, an elderly resident living in Howick who is confident he has what it takes to be the next James Bond - along with his four-legged partner, Roxy the Foxy (a fully trained undercover agent and saboteur who accompanies him on his missions).
Gardener who lives at a retirement village said, “Speculation was rife that Elba is to be the next James Bond but, splendid fellow though he undoubtedly is, I’m afraid that I must burst his bubble. The role calls for a charismatic fellow with rugged features, a roguish smile, and what swooning female fans call ‘that lived-in look’. All of which apparently led the talent scouts to my front door.”
Gardener joked that the retirement village in which he lived in was abuzz with gossip and curios passers-by who stopped at his fence asking for autographs.
“My wheelchair is to be suitably modified to incorporate a turbocharger, flamethrowers and the inevitable ejector seat."
“A thrilling chase scene is planned for the Amberfield car park, in which I am pursued by ruthless female assassins played by residents pushing their own walkers, and known collectively as Hell’s Grannies. Speeds approaching a geriatric stroll have been recorded in test sessions but further details cannot be divulged at this stage,” Gardener said.
He added, “What I can reveal, however, is that the old code 007 is being dropped and that, in honour of my age, I will be identified as agent 0074. Watch the press for further details!”