Guy Willoughby, 53, author, theatre-maker, critic and one of South Africa's most trenchant commentators, died of Aids-related complications at his home in Gardens yesterday.
Poet Finuala Dowling, who was married to him from 1991 to 1996, said Willoughby knew of his status for about five years but chose not to disclose it "for fear of the stigma and being judged. It was a great relief to him in his last days and hours to discover that far from being judged he was very greatly loved.
"At his death he gave a marvellous performance. It was a demonstration on how to die. He was lucid, articulate and dramatic to the end and it gave us all closure.
"I took our daughter Beatrice to say goodbye. He had her support and those of his friends who queued to say their farewells. It was standing room only."
Willoughby was on ARVs for three years but found them toxic and made the choice to take no further medication.
Premier Helen Zille, in her tribute to Willoughby who was speech writer for the DA from August 2006 to July 2008, described him as a "young, talented and engaging person who contributed greatly in many spheres".
"His death reminds us of the tragic loss of talent to this country by a disease which crosses all boundaries. We are saddened at his loss."
Born in 1956 in Durban to Errol and Suzanne Willoughby, Willoughby was educated at Rondebosch Boys and UCT, obtaining his PhD in English on Oscar Wilde.
Blessed with an extremely intelligent, refined and critical mind he enjoyed a diverse career in the print media, on the stage and in the lecture hall. But he will be best remembered for his performances delivered spontaneously at parties where he was the quintessential life and soul.
His massive portfolio as a journalist included writing features, columns and reviews on arts, culture and politics for numerous publications including the Mail & Guardian, Sunday Times and Cape Times.
He had an encyclopaedic knowledge of South African as well as English history and he both wrote plays and lectured on these subjects at the Universities of Cape Town, Dalhousie (Canada), Pretoria and Stellenbosch.
As a writer-performer he appeared in a series of cabarets, one-man plays and satirical revues including Major Schisstirrer, which was an unmerciful send-up of the South Africa armed forces. He was working on the screenplay of his first novel Archangels at the time of his death.
He is survived by his daughter and sisters Corinne Willoughby (Bathurst) and Jennie Lee (London). A memorial service is being planned at UCT's Hiddingh campus on Sunday at 2.30pm.