Don’t judge too quickly when someone appears distant

ANOLENE THANGAVELU PILLAY

Haven’t we all, at some point encountered someone who seems distant, aloof or unreachable? Someone who despite our best efforts remains a mystery leaving us wondering what lies beneath their reserved exterior.

We’ve all been there – trying to connect with someone who seems to be hiding behind a veil of mystery leaving us feeling puzzled, frustrated or even hurt.

What if we’ve got this thinking wrong? What if, beneath the surface there is a coping web of emotions and experiences driving their behaviour, a desperate attempt to take back control of their lives? In this article, let us delve into the intriguing question: why do some people come across as distant?

In today’s frenetic world, when surrounded by environments that foster unhealthy habits, we notice those who are distant, though they are already aware of how their behaviours will play out. Generally, they do not fit in as they understand the potential trauma that conflict could bring to their well-being. Yet, would you choose to be part of a conflict where you are spoken to ill-mannerly or treated poorly based on the insecurities of others?

Well, you may probably distance yourself as well. Yet, why do we choose to hurt the emotions of others? Distant individuals often avoid uncomfortable environments, taking deliberate steps to control their lives rather than being influenced by external forces. Why not guide others to nurture their inner character, rather than focusing on their outward image, to truly understand the essence of humanity?

Mental health awareness has gained significant attention in recent years, with emerging studies highlighting its importance in overall well-being. A growing body of research suggests that mental health is intricately linked to our social connections, with toxic interactions and negative social media use, contributing to the rise of anxiety and depression.

In South Africa, studies have shown that mental health awareness is critical in addressing the country’s high rates of depression and anxiety. A study by the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) found that one in six South Africans suffers from anxiety or depression. Against this backdrop, it is essential to recognise the importance of mental well-being in our daily lives. Prioritise your well-being by setting boundaries, engaging in positive relationships and taking time for yourself to recharge.

Distant people need quiet and solitude to recharge and reflect. They crave space to tune into their inner voice to refuel their mental and emotional batteries. In a society that values extroversion and constant connectivity, it’s refreshing to acknowledge that these individuals aren’t being antisocial. They’re not trying to be distant, they’re just prioritising their mental well-being to function at their best.

Distant individuals are acutely aware that every whispered secret, snide comment and unwanted opinion can be a tiny crack in their own emotional shield. By making a conscious choice to steer clear of harmful behaviours, they are taking care to preserve their well-being, and avoid toxic behaviours and negative influences that can bring emotional turmoil. These sensible individuals are distant to prioritise their mental health, sidestepping the drama of anxiety and depression that can come with getting entangled in fruitless conversations if left unchecked.

Distant individuals can better control their mental landscape, zooming in on their own thoughts with laser-like precision. By doing so, they think strategically, leveraging their minds as a powerful tool to overcome challenges and seize opportunities with pinpoint accuracy. By micromanaging their mental clarity, they fine-tune their focus to concentrate on what matters most, and expertly filter out mental noise that could derail their growth.

However, for those who are courageous enough to step back, they are able to unlearn the societal programming that has limited their potential. By refusing to be defined by society’s narrow expectations, they are empowered to forge their own path and write their own playbook on success, relationships and achievements.

Let us not judge a book by its cover, instead, let us appreciate the beauty of their independent thinking and quiet confidence. This act breaks free from the constraints of conformity, embracing their distant individuality.

We understand their decision to distance themselves is not a sign of weakness but rather a declaration of independence. By stepping away from the toxic relationships and societal pressures, they’re reclaiming their power and redefining their own sense of self-discovery and a powerful step towards a life of authenticity and freedom.

By no means are these individuals standoffish, antisocial or unfriendly. They might have every aspect of their life planned out and possess a lower tolerance level for unwarranted distractions.

Perhaps, it is time to shift our perspective and stop judging them as flawed or arrogant. Instead, acknowledge that their coping strategies are rooted in their own emotional baggage and personal history or prefer a quiet lifestyle.

So, why not focus on finding contentment from within, rather than relying on external validation for happiness?

Anolene Thangavelu Pillay is a Psychology Advisor.

Daily News