South African singer Kelly Khumalo sparked a debate on social media when she spoke about the challenges of single parenting.
The mother of three who had to raise her first two children without their fathers has been through a lot.
Jub Jub, real name Molemo Maarohanye, the father of her first child, was arrested while their son was still young, and then Senzi Meyiwa, the father of her second child was shot and killed in her home in East Rand.
Taking to TikTok, the “Ngathwala Ngaye” hitmaker expressed the challenges of raising a child with a man who abused her.
Since the identity of the father of her third child has been kept secret, many people concluded she was talking about Jub Jub because it is no secret that their son is a spitting image of his father and the “Uyajolala 99” presenter had abused her in the past.
“There’s one thing that we proudly never talk about at all, especially as single moms. Raising children or a child of a man who physically abused you.
“Even more so, that child looks exactly like that person. How much healing it takes to raise a child and see that child for who they are, not who their father is. How godly one has to be to see beyond what is a constant reminder of someone who hurt you,” said Khumalo.
She added that it’s worse when the person continues to hurt you. Again, all fingers pointed at Jub Jub because the two have had public altercations about the custody of the child and so forth.
“Whatever chance they get, they want to step on you and remind you of how they’ve hurt you in the past, but you continue to be a great mom. You choose to be a great mom.
“You choose to be a better person and a better parent, and you choose to heal for your child’s sake because, at the end of the day, that child is not just an image of his or her father, but your image too.
“So you choose to see yourself in them rather than the person who hurt you. Inzima ne (it’s hard isn’t it?),” she said.
@kellykhumalo11 Drops the mic 🎤 let me go wash….
♬ original sound - kellykhumalo11
To answer her question, most people said she shouldn’t have shared any of those intrusive thoughts on the internet because they may not sit well with her child, who, by the way, is innocent and didn’t choose to look like his father.
“Ey, I’m not sure, man. Does this not make the child doubt their mother’s love???? Some things are better left unsaid. The boy is old and definitely has access to social media now,” said @Alulu25
Another X user, @ndux_m, said: “Even if you felt that way as a parent, I feel like you should keep it to yourself as a parent. Umntwana akanacala (the child has no sin).”
While others said her feelings were valid, they still maintained that she should not have put that on the internet.
