By Helena Andrews-Dyer
It pains us to say this, but guys, Shake was right: “Love is blurry.”
While nearly every sentence that escaped his mouth during the awkward ‘Love Is Blind’ reunion, now streaming on Netflix, was cringeworthy, Season 2’s undisputed villain did hit one nail on its head.
Despite the egalitarian premise of the addictive dating show – in which participants meet through a screen, fall in love and propose without ever seeing one another – love is not blind. Or even near-sighted.
And nowhere was the opaque filter that serves to soften the whole messy “experiment” more obvious than at the reunion, where hard truths were either shushed, shouted down or simply didn't exist.
The real ugly stuff – like racism, colourism, egoism, maybe-alcoholism and the actual definition of a joke appeared to be blemishes the show would rather wipe from the fairy tale.
We learned all the obvious stuff during the special. Who was still together: the charming Lyanna and Jarrette, the co-dependent Danielle and Nick.
Who tried to make another go of it and failed: the lumbering Shayne and Natalie, the lacklustre Salvador and Mallory. Who was terrible: the unapologetic Shake. Who deserved much, much, much better: the lovely Deepti.
But what was most frustrating (besides Shake) were the big reveals that weren’t – the question marks that the show’s producers either didn't have the capacity to probe or the cast was too blind to see. Here’s what we were left wondering.
Would Shake and Deepti address the colourism going on?
The short answer is no. From the beginning, the two Indian American singles admitted that neither had dated someone with similar South Asian roots.
On their very first “date”, Shake tells Deepti that he is enamoured with blondes. Ruh-roh. “You like what you like,” he says.
And Deepti admits that she’s never dated an Indian man. “We’re both brown people that only date White people," Shake concludes and the impending doom is clear to anyone paying attention.
But the show never takes the time to dive into the why behind both of their choices, such as assimilation or self-denial. Despite proposing to Deepti, Shake later admits he isn’t physically attracted to her, comparing her to his aunt.
Colourism is never mentioned or defined (Deepti has darker skin that is a shade deeper than Shake’s), though it’s a deep-seated discriminatory practice in the Indian community, among others.
It’s a familiar story for many marginalised folks looking for love in a mainstream culture that elevates Western beauty standards above all.
At the reunion, however, Shake spends more time assessing his castmates’ shortcomings than his own.
What happened the night before Shayne and Natalie's wedding?
To be honest, we never saw a happily ever after for Shayne and Natalie.
While opposites do attract, these two never seemed to fit. Shayne doesn’t “believe” in a 401(k).
Natalie is a consulting manager. Shayne likes to be complimented. Natalie isn’t a daily affirmation bot.
Things came to a head the night before their wedding day, when the two had a blow-up so big Shayne told Natalie that he hated her. Spoiler alert: she said “I don’t” at the altar the next morning.
But during the reunion, the audience never learns what caused the fight that would derail their happy ending. Shayne says the drinking and pressure got to him, but nothing more.
“It’s so hard for me to talk about because really that night changed everything for us,” Natalie says, before admitting that the fight was for the best because it opened her eyes to some glaringly obvious communication issues.
But as for the particulars? We still don’t know. (Consequently, we’re chalking it up to Shayne striking out at Wrigley Field during the bachelor party.)
What exactly did Shaina’s brother mean by that “being an American” line?
Okay, this is a deep cut. But in the “Back to Reality” episode, Kyle and Shaina meet Shaina’s family.
Her brother, Dane, immediately starts grilling his sister’s fiance, and it seems clear to everyone in the room but Kyle that this match isn't made in heaven – and quite literally, since Shaina is a devout Christian and Mark is an atheist. Religious affiliations aside, one specific comment from Dane stands out.
When Kyle gushes about spending time with his would-be brothers-in-law, Dane counters, “Yeah, man, if you like the outdoors and having fun and riding dirt bikes, being an American.”
Those last three works stuck out as the most important of the afternoon. What is “being an American?”
What did Dane mean by that? Shaina is White and Kyle reads ethnically ambiguous on-screen, but the comment seemed weirdly charged in post-Trump America. And yet no one brings it up again.
The couple split not long after, and Shaina admits at the reunion that she should never have accepted Kyle’s proposal in the first place.
Would Jarrette admit that his “joke” about Mallory’s ring wasn’t a joke at all?
In Mexico, Jarrette and the first woman he proposed to, Mallory, saw each other for the first time while celebrating their engagement to other people.
The situation was awkward to say the least, but it was made even more so by the skirting-on-flirting conversation the pair had at the bar as their fiancées looked on.
Jar-Bear tells Mal-Mal that her engagement ring is nice but it’s “not the ring you wanted. You know how I know, because I asked you.”
Later, Jarrette tells his boy Sal (Mallory’s current fiancé) that it was just a joke and repeats this defence at the reunion.
Nope, not a joke. It was a flex and none-too-veiled way of telling Mallory that she’d made the wrong choice. But in the special, Jarrette still doubles down on his claim that the whole exchange was “an inappropriate joke.”
Hosts Nick and Vanessa Lachey don’t press him on it, and Mallory also doesn’t own up to her role in the conversation.
Honesty isn’t blurry. These two had strong feelings for one another that didn't disappear and instead of admitting that, they danced around it.
Why are Nick and Vanessa hosting this show?
This is a trick question – sort of. Throughout the series, Nick and Vanessa Lachey’s random pop-ups are neither unwelcome nor necessary.
The pair show up to remind the binge-watching audience what we already know. They don't move the plot along, provide expert psychoanalysis, hand out roses or lend shoulders to cry on.
At the reunion, however, the married couple proved themselves and established their role as the frustrated audience’s proxy, particularly when it came to Shake.
Vanessa delivers the read of all reads: “I think you were on the wrong show,” she informs him politely before bringing down the hammer. “You sat there and berated every single one of these women physically, and then went through the process with this beautiful soul over here all because you wanted someone to (have sex with), not fall in love with.” Slow clap.