Dear Madam/Sir. If only the food lived up to your name

STICKY ribs with sweet potato chips at Madam & Sir. Picture: Supplied

STICKY ribs with sweet potato chips at Madam & Sir. Picture: Supplied

Published Feb 19, 2022

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Madam & Sir

Where: 262 Florida Road, Morningside

Open: Daily 7am to 10pm, kitchen closes at 9pm.

Call: 031 816 6670

I suspect the name Madam&Sir was chosen to make customers feel special, like they’re lords and ladies of the manor, and we were certainly warmly welcomed and shown a spot on the terrace.

A DISAPPOINTING lamb shank at Madam & Sir. Picture: Supplied

It’s a lovely spot overlooking Florida Road and we relished sipping our ice-cold Gin & Tonics, while watching the passing parade on the road. Here, it’s comfy French café seating and a section of couches for those who want to lounge.

The menu is decidedly vanilla, with something to please most tastes: conventional tastes, that is.

Madam gets served the chicken options, Sir the meaty stuff. The Madam burger is a butterflied chicken breast served with mozzarella, gherkins, grilled onions and tomatoes. Sir gets the beef patty with the addition of guacamole and bacon. The madam platter is a seafood platter to share. Sir’s platter is a shisanyama board with boerewors, chops, chicken wings and ribs.

A small selection of starters offer calamari tubes – grilled or deep fried, a salmon tower, and stuffed mushrooms. There’s, predictably, chicken wings and chicken livers, and crumbed chicken strips. We opted for what looked like the least conventional starter of chilli bite prawns, served with a minty cucumber raita (R95). There was no hint of the chilli bites, but the prawns came in a nice light batter and were served with a Mari Rose sauce, instead of the raita. Maybe the menu is a work in progress.

My friend threw me a compliment.

“The sauce isn’t as good as yours,” he said. That’s probably because I always throw a bit of booze ‒ usually sherry ‒ into it.

CHILLI bite prawns were simply done in a batter and served with Marie Rose sauce instead of cucumber raita. Picture: Supplied

We also enjoyed the mussels in garlic white wine and cream (R80), served with a couple of slices of griddled toast.

Mains tend to be meaty ‒ with a full selection of steaks, complete with sauces, lamb chops, etc. There’s a rack of lamb and a variety of curries ‒ lamb, butter chicken, and chicken and prawn. I was tempted by the latter. On the seafood menu, Madam gets the hake and chips with home-made tartare sauce. Sir gets the kingklip on buttery mash, with lemon butter sauce. There are some sandwiches, wraps and salads for those looking for something lighter

MUSSELS cooked in garlic, white wine and cream. Picture: Supplied

My friend decided to try the ribs (R185 for 500g) in a sticky sauce that almost tasted sweet and sour. There was vinegar in there somewhere. These were soft, succulent and enjoyable, as were the accompanying sweet potato fries. My lamb shank (R245) didn’t fare as well. Billed as a slow-braised shank in garlic and garlic and herbs, it was served on a buttery mash with red wine jus and seasoned (I think they mean seasonal) vegetables.

Here the lamb and the sauce had been married on the plate. The lamb, while properly cooked, didn’t do that whole fall-off-the-bone thing you expect from slow cooking. “You’re supposed to be able to just shake it off the bone,” my friend said. It also hadn’t been heated through properly. The sauce was not a red wine jus either. It was some sort of Moroccan inspired creation, with too much harissa paste and cumin. It was strong with chilli and quite astringent.

Oh, for a classic lamb shank cooked the Italian way ‒ it is roasted slowly for hours, with tomatoes, garlic herbs and red wine. Now that would perk up some real interest.

We were enjoying sitting out on the terrace, so we ordered a couple of Irish coffees instead of dessert. We could have tried the crème brûlée, or chocolate mousse with chocolate ganache and chocolate ice-cream, or the cheese blintzes, although these were marred by the inclusion of golden syrup.

Our Irishes arrived with cream rapidly sinking down the side of the glasses, our waiter apologising because the cream wouldn’t whip properly. Later, in an unguarded moment, he said: “I hope they tasted better than they looked.”

We enjoyed them all the same.

Food: 2 ½

Service: 3 ½

Ambience: 3 ½

The Bill: R821

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