By Val Leveson
All parents know that one of the most difficult things about having a small baby is getting enough sleep. The baby has her own interior clock and the parents' need for sleep has nothing to do with it.
However, as all parents know, their state of mind affects their infant - so getting the baby into good sleeping patterns is good for all.
Allison Jamieson, clinical adviser for Plunket, says a baby sleeps a lot, and as it gets older the baby has more time awake. On average a tiny baby will sleep 16 and a half hours a day, but this will be an amalgamation of shortish sleeps.
"Using the word 'training' in regards to getting a baby to sleep is a difficult term. We talk about managing issues. My advice is to talk to a Plunket nurse, or an authority about your circumstances. The danger of having hard and fast rules is that parents feel they're failing if the rules don't work for them."
Jamieson stresses that babies use crying as their only way to communicate. "If the baby cries, it could mean that she's in pain, has wind, is hot or cold or is hungry. Look at the whole picture before deciding what to do about a sleeping problem.
"Some just cry because they want to be comforted. Picking the baby up and cuddling it may do the trick. Do what works and use what resources you have. Partners, grandparents or even good friends could be of help to allow you to get some rest."
Jamieson warns that some babies cry and grizzle and then fall asleep. "It's okay to leave the child for a few minutes if this is the case. But if there is prolonged crying, parents need to know that it's okay to go back and try again. The baby could be crying for good reason - she could be in pain."
Parents need to know the signs of tiredness in a baby - if they don't, the baby could become very grumpy without enough sleep. These signs may include grizzling, rubbing eyes, or drooping eyes.
One idea Jamieson has to help get a baby to sleep is to massage the baby before bedtime. "This is great for the recipient, but also gives some nice, quiet bonding time for the parents. It's lovely to see the baby relax."
Singing or talking to the baby could work, or having a bath together. If little else is working, try taking the baby for a ride in the car. Most important is creating a calm period before putting the baby into bed.
Jamieson's main advice is to tell parents to look at what resources they have access to. There's help and advice in the community and on the internet. Grandparents, aunts and uncles and friends can all be helpful.
She says that sometimes if you're with a child when it goes to sleep, or if the child is moved from one room to another - or from a car to its bed, the baby could wake up with its last memory of being with you.
This can be a problem as the baby may decide it doesn't want to be by itself after waking up and start to cry. If this happens it doesn't hurt to try and reassure the baby and settle it down.
It's extremely important to remember when putting your child to bed, to place the baby on its back. This reduces the chances of cot death.
In the contendedbabycom website, authority Gina Ford mentions the Foundation for the Study of Infant Death is advising that for the first six months of a baby's life, it should not be put in a separate room for daytime naps. Babies should be in a room where a parent is present.
Research in the International Journal of Epidemiology claims 75 per cent of the babies who died in the daytime were sleeping in a room where there was no adult present.
Bed time
Some ideas from AskDrSears.com include:
- Develop a realistic attitude about nighttime parenting. Sleeping, like eating, is not a state you can force a baby into. Create a secure environment.
- Beware of sleep trainers as there are no magic formulas. Most of these techniques are variations of the cry-it-out method. There are also gadgets that can take some of the night-time duties from you (such as baby monitors). Be discerning about what you use and consider your circumstances.
- Stay flexible. No single approach will work all the time.
- Decide where the baby sleeps best.
- A peaceful daytime is likely to lead to a restful night. The more the baby is held and calmed during the day, the more likely she will be peaceful at night.
- Set predictable and consistent nap routines.
- Calm the baby down by giving the baby a warm bath followed by a soothing massage before sleep.
- Tank up your baby during the day. Babies need to learn that daytime is for eating and the night is for sleeping.
- Fathers can try nestling the baby's head against the front of the neck, with your chin against the top of the baby's head. As you sing or or talk, the vibration of the deeper male voice lulls the baby to sleep. Swaying with your baby also helps.
- Detect possible medical causes for night waking if nothing seems to work. - The New Zealand Herald