Where was Maria Shriver when her husband Arnold Schwarzenegger went public with the news that he had sired a child with the family housekeeper? Was she with her lawyers? The children? Sorting out the pillowcases in the linen cupboard with the new maid?
None of the above, actually. Maria was with Oprah Winfrey, recording a show. Of course she was. Where else would she be?
Appearing on Oprah is what famous, rich international names do at crisis points in their lives. In the confessional of her television studio, Oprah soothes their hurt feelings with her own brand of quasi-spiritual, half-baked therapy-lite.
Much of what she says and advises comes straight from the kind of grim greetings cards that dim wallflowers send each other. “Turn your wounds into wisdom,” is one famous Oprah saying. “You can have it all. You just can”t have it all at once” is another.
More importantly, the Queen of Talk provides a coast-to-coast television platform where stars can exult in their triumphs, restore their reputations or wash away the stains of their transgression, whatever it might be.
Yet after a quarter of a century of celeb soul searching and couture rehabilitation for erring stars, the Oprah show has ended. This is dreadful news! Poor, shattered Maria Shriver will be one of the last-ever guests on a show that leaves an incredible legacy.
For way back in 1986, it was Oprah who first pioneered a way for celebrities and public figures to express themselves emotionally to a prime-time audience.
On Oprah’s sofa, Ellen DeGeneres first came out as a lesbian, Tom Cruise declared his love for Katie Holmes, Kirstie Alley danced across the stage in a red bikini after shedding buckets of lard on a diet. A blubbing Bill Clinton tried to make amends with the American people, while Oprah’s endorsement of Barack Obama helped pave his way to the White House.
Over the years, her resolute championing of the underdog, her liberalism and her sunny tolerance have done much to improve America - and also the way the world views Americans.
Yet the “Oprahfication” of the world is not always an entirely good thing. Today, the grisly, let-it-all-hang-out-emotionally approach often irritates, especially when celebrities or politicians fondly imagine that self-pity masquerading as candour is all that it takes to win over public opinion.
To this end, Oprah’s influence is everywhere; from the tracks of Nick Clegg’s tears to David Cameron’s deft empathy, to the emotion shimmering through Dominique Strauss-Khan’s resignation letter to the IMF. In the letter, DSK writes of his “infinite sadness” and his love for his wife, his children, family, friends and colleagues, not to mention his honour, his devotion, his strength, his love, his blah blah, pass le bag de sick.
And for Oprah’s guests, an appearance on the show suggested that redemption could be theirs, if they had read The Road Less Travelled and could strike the right notes of self-flagellation and regret. Note that it was on Oprah where Sarah Ferguson first rambled on about her self-hatred after being caught in a newspaper sting trying to sell access to Prince Andrew.
Talking about herself in the third person, the Duchess said that these events had “freed Sarah from the treadmill of her life”.
Oh dear. To listen to the Duchess thrashing about in the glutinous paddling pool of therapy-speak is to realise that Oprah has a lot to answer for. A lot.
Yet right up until the very last days of the empire, Oprah’s studio was still the place to be if you wanted to win the hearts and minds of the people. If she is on your side, then you have little to fear.
And photographs of Oprah and Maria Shriver with their hands clasped together and held aloft, like tag team champs in the wrestling ring of life, told their own story. And that story is this - Arnie, you are toast.
Never mind your meaningless adulterer’s apology or the fact that your liberal Californian politics have been shown up to be an empty charade - the fact that your wife made it on to the Oprah show before you did means that it’s all over for you, matey.
I’ll be back? I don’t think so. Oprah has seen to that. - Daily Mail