Is it looks, wealth and power? Or are there other, less obvious, qualities that make men attractive to the opposite sex? Here’s Amanda Ngudle’s light-hearted guide to attraction
“Relationships start off on a light-hearted note and for even more light-hearted reasons,” says Tami Rasmeni, a relationships therapist. “Believe it or not, the flippant little things are the glue that binds us to our partners in times of challenges.
“Everyone has that one little perk that his partner likes about them and men should use these as ammunition to help invigorate an ailing or withering relationship.”
Handymen
A knight who unleashes his own set of tools to help tighten up a loose dish is much more attractive than a male madam who calls AA for a flat tyre.
“Being absolutely clueless about atomic physics is understandable, but panicking when a sink clogs up merely shows a lack of creativity and a lack of interest in the things that happen around you,” says family psychologist Rita Russou.
“Besides saving you lots of money in paying service men, it is fulfilling to fix something and see it work again. And of course all women love a handyman. I am yet to meet a single woman who doesn’t like a man who can do minor fixes and repairs. But if the demand for Peter Hedgens’ Rent-A Hubby Handyman Services is anything to go by, handymen are in short supply. “Unfortunately, most men feel too metropolitan to get their hands dirty,” says Hedgens.
Funny Men
The saving grace of most relationships is a great sense of humour. It is the pillar of healthy relations and can compensate for the absence of money.
“Humour is… despair refusing to take itself seriously,” said the late author Arland Ussher.
“Some men are just plain funny. Women love to be around them, because they take the sting out of life,” says Yvette Kriel, a dating site webmaster.
“Humour is also very captivating for women. Sometimes women will date a guy with evasive attributes and the reasons they stay almost always involve his killer humour.”
Unlike most skills, humour comes for free. Learn from stand-up comedians if you can’t make your lady laugh.
Perfect gentlemen
Cave men are a huge embarrassment at times.
Being a polite gentleman is easy, and women love it. Not only does it show you have class, but it’s just the right thing to do.
For decades, Woody Allen has kept masses captivated by his peculiarity and intellectual humour. He has also bagged beautiful women that men with triple his looks could only dream of.
Bi/multilingual men
There is nothing as seductive as a foreign language.
Some people have associated bi- or multilinguism with a higher IQ while others argue it is a gift, just like writing.
Either way, women love a man who can converse fluently with French tourists, bargain a sale in Venda or seduce them in Italian.
“Multilinguism also sets such characters apart,”says sociology lecturer Ahmed Seedat.
“People with this advantage tend to land better jobs, are more socially respected as they are seen as well travelled or street smart.”
Men who let us be
When Men’s Health conducted a survey on what men wished women knew about them, the number one wish was that women wanted to know that they were free to air their views even if they were controversial or someone disagreed with them.
Coincidentally, women’s liberation has seen most of us give out more points to guys who let us be.
Men who aren’t afraid of the word sorry
A study conducted by the University of Michigan showed that apologising can even have health benefits, such as lowering stress levels.
Meanwhile, avoiding an apology makes relationships more strained and it can reveal something negative about you.
Being incapable of apologising can be a real character flaw, says Beverly Engel, a psychotherapist and author of The Power of Apology (John Wiley & Sons, 2001).
She adds, however, that it’s also necessary to stop apologising in certain situations.
Shy guys
While it might seem like women want a gregarious confident guy who thinks he’s God’s gift to womankind, it’s said that many women actually prefer quiet guys who listen more than they talk.
“I personally love a man who thinks before talking because mostly they speak more sense than men who jump into conversations,” says bar assistant Thembi Manyoni. “Even when he is drunk, a quiet man tends to observe more and never wants to draw too much attention to himself and would rather let you have all the glory.”
The appeal of a shy gentleman could lend itself to the intrigue he possesses; the less he says about himself, the more mysterious he seems, says Askmen.
“And the quiet guy standing alone at the bar could come across as a lone ranger, stopping in for a drink before hopping back onto his steed.” - Sunday Independent