Arrive and drive. A few lucky racing drivers get to do it. Most only aspire to it.
It’s a term familiar to anybody in motorsport circles and in just three words it divides every driver, from F1 world champion Sebastian Vettel down to oom Frikkie at his local dirt oval track, into two clear casts.
Arrive and drivers don’t unload trailers. They don’t unpack tools. When the bonnets go up for tinkering over the course of a race weekend, they’re found signing autographs or wasting time with pit babes somewhere. These are the guys who are either paid to race, or they are paying somebody to do their dirty work - but either way, it’s only the most fortunate of racers who pull into the track, race a car, and then go home at the end of the day with clean hands.
I’m not that guy.
Spot me at any given race meeting and you’ll have a hard time telling me, the driver, from the grubby mechanic for the simple fact that I’m both. Jumping out of the car to check tyre pressures and then back in again mid-session is a common occurrence. So you can imagine how I jumped at the recent opportunity to arrive at Kyalami and drive in the Engen Volkswagen Cup category thanks to a media participation programme that will see this publication competing at the first three National Super Series races of the year.
And it’s a good thing that my attention wasn’t divided between racing and wrenching too, because in the Polo Cup (the easier-on-the-tongue unofficial name for the series) my hands were full on track.
This is a formula where up-and-coming racer kids looking to graduate from go-karts come to make names for themselves on the big circuit.
And let me tell you, these little freckly-faced boys and girls may look innocent, but they’re not.
Most of the field has been bred in motorsport; starting life sniffing petrol fumes on pit wall while daddy was racing back in the day. This early exposure to track-life means they’re scared of nothing, and it shows in the way they chuck these Polo Vivo race cars around with little fear of the consequence.
When the first time sheets popped up after Friday’s initial practice session, I knew that my experience at the wheel of many a race car meant nothing to this pack of brats. I had just driven my ar*e off, clipping apexes here and cutting corners there, and in the end I’d come up 13th quickest in a field of 27. Not a complete ego shattering, but not exactly a booster either.
The cars themselves aren’t as innocent as they look either.
They may be loosely based on your average rep-mobile, or student car, but the Polo Vivo body style is where the similarities stop. Under the hoods are two-litre, 16-valve engines with lumpy cams to give them that awesome sounding idle; all built and sealed by VW Motorsport in Port Elizabeth so that no extra fettling can be done on the sly. In one-make racing series such as this, the cars are meant to be as close to identical as possible – if the front-runners have uncovered some secret tweaks (and they undoubtedly have), they certainly weren’t sharing them with me.
Suspension set-up is crucial in Polo Cup, with miniscule adjustments making major differences to handling on track. Even with gummy slick tyres and super-stiff shocks and springs, a tad too much toe-out, or rear ride height, or left front tyre pressure can completely kill lap times. Get it even slightly wrong and you’re at the trailing end of a long train of Vivos.
FLYING DEBRIS
And the trailing end is a dangerous place to be, because it means more chance of being hit by flying debris come race time, as I now know first hand. Lap one in particular, can only be described as chaotic, and if you’re lucky enough to make it out of the first few turns unscathed, you’ll need to keep an open eye for wing mirrors, bumpers and other items that have been tossed from their host cars and looking to make an impact (literally) on your race result. Sorry Volkswagen, your media car needs a new windscreen.
To make a long story short (I’m avoiding all the embarrassing specifics of how my competitiveness diminished over the course of the weekend), I finished heat one in 17th place and heat two in 18th, meaning 17th overall for the day.
The cherry on top of my Engen Volkswagen Cup debut, was third in the Master’s category (that’s the polite way of saying old-people’s class) for drivers over the age of 28. There were only five of us, but who’s counting?
This, I’m told, is a fantastic result for a Polo Cup newbie, even if I was hoping for better.
At least I went home with clean hands.
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