By Sharon Gordon
WE often hear that sex is good for you and it is. It’s not just about procreation as some would have us believe. It is also about so much more. It’s about connection, intimacy, pleasure and health. 200 orgasms a year will also make you look about four years younger.
It can cause or release stress and very often many of us just stop having it.
The reasons are many, ranging from a loss of libido or partner to depression and lack of self-esteem. Whatever the reason we stop, it will affect your health.
Physical Health Impacts
Not having sex can affect your physical health.
Regular sexual activity has health benefits. It improves cardiovascular health; The absence of sexual activity may contribute to higher risks of heart disease.
Regular intimacy maintains muscle strength. Intimacy, including affectionate touch, is known to boost the immune system. A lack of it can lead to lower immunity over time. Sure, you could increase your alternative exercise routines but is it as much fun?
Menopausal women who have regular sex report having fewer physical and mental symptoms. If you stop having sex your physical health can deteriorate over time.
Pain Management: Endorphins released during intimacy can help reduce pain perception.
Without this natural release, chronic pain conditions may feel more intense.
Mental Health Considerations
This activity is also great for maintaining your mental health. We all know that having sex releases all our happy hormones which are essential for our mental wellbeing.
Intimacy fosters a sense of connection. A lack of it may lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, which can increase the risk of depression and anxiety.
Some of the hormones associated with sex include oxytocin, endorphins and serotonin.
These hormones are essential for helping reduce stress and anxiety.
Physical intimacy, including sex, helps reduce stress by releasing endorphins and oxytocin.
Without it, stress levels may remain elevated, leading to negative health outcomes.
These hormones help improve mood and energy levels. Without sex and the release of these hormones anxiety and loneliness may increase, having an adverse effect on mental health.
Sexual activity and close physical connections improve blood flow to the brain and are associated with better cognitive functioning. A lack of intimacy might contribute to mental fatigue or reduced clarity.
Relationships and Social Connections
Sexual intimacy between couples plays an important role in bonding and connection
Many clients report that they no longer have regular sex with their partners. It often leads to hurt, blame and affairs. Many end up in divorce. I find this incredibly sad because intimacy can be so much more than sex. This is a column for a different time.
In relationships, a lack of intimacy can create distance, resentment, or miscommunication between partners, which may lead to relationship dissatisfaction or breakdown.
For single individuals, the lack of intimacy might decrease confidence in forming or maintaining romantic relationships.
Women of a certain age will tell you that one of the disturbing consequences of being that age is that we feel invisible. Let me explain.
I have never been beautiful but when I walked into a room I owned it. People would look up and notice. As I’ve aged this happens less and less and now, I can walk in and out of a room and I don’t think anyone will notice. I may as well be invisible.
Because I never traded on my looks it doesn’t really worry me, or does it? I have noticed after all.
Having sex on a regular basis can reinforce our feelings of desirability and attractiveness.
Not having sex regularly can therefore do the opposite. It can have a profound effect on our self-esteem.
In turn, lack of self-esteem can impact our mental and physical health which impacts our relationships and so the viscous cycle continues to spiral.
Hormonal and Menopausal Considerations
Hormonal Imbalances: Sex and intimacy help regulate hormones like oxytocin, dopamine, and oestrogen. Without them, hormonal imbalances can exacerbate mood swings or other physical symptoms, particularly during menopause.
If you are no longer having regular sex for whatever reason I urge you to reconsider your options. It is important if you want to live well. Let me suggest a couple ways to help.
Coping Strategies
Communication: For those in relationships, open communication about intimacy needs is essential.
Non-Sexual Intimacy: Hugs, cuddling, and holding hands can fulfil the need for connection and oxytocin release.
Therapy: Speaking with a therapist or coach (like a menopause coach) can help address emotional or sexual challenges.
Self-Exploration: Self-care, masturbation, or exploring sensuality independently can maintain sexual health and wellness.