Mpho Molefe
Where do I begin? This is one of the hardest subjects to tackle because it deals with something deeper than anything else out there – the identity of an individual in conflict, in most cases, with themselves.
How does a parent of the individual come in, especially when they are expected to support their daughter or son in battle with accepting the condition the state assigned to them at conception? It is hard for the children who identify as homosexuals and for their parents.
When giving birth in the labour room one is asked: Is it a boy or girl? The answer depends on the genitals. That is how easy it is in the labour/delivery room. This perfect individual from the labour room starts growing up and is confronted by emotions or feelings they do not understand. Then, faced with an identity battle that they hope you, as a parent, can have a solution for or help hold their hand while they navigate this constant inner battle.
What is a parent to do? Do you say to this perfectly made individual that you were pronounced a boy or girl and you are now the opposite of that? Is that not a betrayal by a parent even if the child has grown up? How does the child come back from such a betrayal from a figure that is supposed to be an embodiment of trust, and who stands with the world in adding confusion to a child in need of answers to self?
No matter the struggles the children might face in life, we, the parents, must remain in our role as parents. We can support our children as best we can without betraying them. Without celebrating with the world what clearly would, in the long run, question the decisions they made when they were overwhelmed. We could be faced with accusations from such children that we are not supportive enough but in the end, when we endure and love them best we can without giving in to the pressure, we all win.
We cannot be dictated to by any government, state, World Health Organisation, UN or medical doctors, because no amount of surgery can change a male into a female or female into a male. It is a lie they are so desperately trying to sell us by making it easier to get our children and even adults to believe that a mere mortal can change them into being something else. The Department of Home Affairs even has the audacity to say IDs can be altered into many spaces for other sexes or none thereof.
We have a duty to love our children with all we have and that includes fighting for them, even when they believe they are right. We carried them for nine months. We cannot be shamed into being made to be seen as uncaring when we choose not to go with what the world wants for our children. Even if the children gave in and went with the world. If you, as a parent, agreed with the world because of pressure from your child or the world, forgive yourself. We are at war. A war for our children.
If your child has made any physical change to themselves or is in the process of doing so, keep fighting for your child. Desire to have faith because it will not be easy to look at your child and hold out hope that things will turn around. Even with the physical change, fight for the spirit of your child. You are the parent.
You’ve witnessed the pain on your child’s face and the bewilderment when they thought you were rejecting them because you refused to sell them out.
Therefore, faith is the substance of things hoped for. The evidence of things not seen.
Mpho Molefe is a concerned parent